(no subject)

[z_hikaru]

Well, my cheating ex-boyfriend sent me a wedding invitation. Name of who he's marrying isn't the same as who he was cheating with, so that's interesting. I kind of suspect it's completely fabricated to try to get my attention.

Anyone have any ideas for good "go fuck off and die" gifts I can send him?

Comments

[oshitari_kenya]

A brain eating amoeba in a bottle of wine!

[z_hikaru]

Don't think there's anywhere online that would ship that, but good idea.

[oshitari_kenya]

I'm sure you could find something similar :D

[z_hikaru]

Probably slightly less murder-y.

[oshitari_kenya]

Oh, that's not what I was going for.

[z_hikaru]

Oh?

[oshitari_kenya]

Yeah, for what he did, why not murder.

[z_hikaru]

I like not being arrested?

[oshitari_kenya]

Just don't get caught.

[mmmarui]

Screenshot of your bank account balance.

[z_hikaru]

Done that. He was my go-to singer for a long time, so he knows my value.

[z_hikaru]

I think ordering his murder online is bound to get me caught. But thanks.

[oshitari_kenya]

Well, I'm sure you'll think of something.

[mmmarui]

Too bad. I have a few other ideas but Ken-chan's probably not in the mood to go along with it right now.

[z_hikaru]

I'm curious now.

[z_hikaru]

Do I seem murderous to you, Kenya-san?

[oshitari_kenya]

no but he deserves it.

[z_hikaru]

Eh, he saved me the trouble of staying with a waste of air like him, it's fine.

[oshitari_kenya]

If you say so, Hikaru.

[z_hikaru]

It's the truth.

screened

[mmmarui]

Well, Ken-chan's legs would make anyone jealous, right?

Re: screened

[z_hikaru]

He was always jealous enough to just see me texting Kenya-san, so your idea has merit.

Re: screened

[mmmarui]

You're welcome.

[z_hikaru]

Marui gave me an idea. Can I take a selfie between your bare legs? It would drive Takao insane to think I was boning you. He always hated you.

[akutsu]

Take a pic of you hot & heavy with someone, & flip off the camera. Send him that

[oshitari_kenya]

Hated me?!?!?!?!? Why?!?!?!?!?!

[z_hikaru]

Decent idea.

[z_hikaru]

I dunno. Projecting his own cheating tendencies probably.

[akutsu]

Especially if he's the jealous type. Knew someone who did that and got a damn good reaction out of it.

[oshitari_kenya]

Well...I mean...I guess it couldn't hurt...

[z_hikaru]

Cool. We'll take a really spicy picture to send him.

[z_hikaru]

Yeah, I think I'll go with that plan.

[oshitari_kenya]

Okay...

[floranotfauna]

Same thing happened to me, only the jerk used my name on the marriage license instead of his fiancé's. I hope you don't suffer the same fate.

[z_hikaru]

Can... can that happen if you're not there to sign? You have to sign a marriage liscense, right?

[floranotfauna]

I don't know the specifics since I'm here and not there, but apparently it can happen. He's lucky I'm not on the planet, to be honest.

[z_hikaru]

Yeah. I'd be committing murder to be honest.

[floranotfauna]

The thought definitely has crossed my mind on more than one occasion.

[chickens]

I'm very much a fan of just binning things like that. It's more effort to think of a gift and send it than they're worth, right?

[z_hikaru]

It is, but at the same time revenge is cathartic.